Atrocious Attire

Once upon a time, people used to go out wearing the standard jeans and a shirt. Some more glamorous or revealing than others and some more laid back. Now on a typical night out, you have people who still look standard and presentable or even a little well dressed. On the other hand you have people who like to go out to an average bar or night spot wearing these weird diva mini-dresses. Again, there is nothing wrong with dressing well.. but this isn't even well, it's borderline trashy. Just because Paris and Lindsay walk around in them so you can get up-skirts and nip-slips for the paparazzi, doesn't mean you should. For starters, these dresses usually look like you are wearing garbage bags, which immediately makes you look like Missy Elliot in the video for ''The Rain (Supa-Dupa Fly)''. Beep! Beep! Who got the keys to the Jeep!?

On top of looking like "Misdemeanor," half the time these chicks don't have the body to fill these dresses out anyways. You always see flat chested girls pullin them up because their lack of boobage is hindering their chance for a crotch-o-graph. On the other end, you have bigger girls wearin them with their unflattering cottage cheese ass flappin out the back..which is just plain wrong. There is nothing wrong with a bigger girl who is or wants to be sexy, but it's damn important to know your personal boundaries. If you got jello-arm... wear sleeves. If you got cottage cheese ass.. wear pants. If you got turkey neck... good god get a scarf. If you're ugly... well you're shit out of luck. You can fix fat, you can't fix ugly.

Worst of all it's an unflattering look for girls because of the way these hefty bag dresses look. They puff out, so dudes have no read on what you might look like under there. You might as well be tryin to pluck girls off myspace with just head-up photos from good angles. They make skinny girls look starved and they make thicker girls look big.. it's a lose/lose. Even worse than the force-flex dresses are the girls who wear these longer elegant tank tops AS dresses. This is one of the most awkward pieces of clothing I've ever seen. It's not sure what it is. When you wear it with pants, it looks like a dress. When you wear it as a dress, it looks like a shirt. Ladies, as much as men enjoy revealing clothes.. please don't attempt to rock one of these as an outfit. Not only do you look too dumb to dress yourself, the only guys you are going to attract are the ones you wake up next to, look over and suddenly check yourself for crabs.

Lastly, my personal favorite.. is the girl who dresses like this and then complains about the "negative attention." So you have grimy guys all over you, girls calling you a slut, creepers following you into dark alleys and you complain?! I came out with my boobs pushed up high enough to choke myself, my "dress" is so short you can see the bottom of my ass cheeks and it's OTHER people's faults for giving ME unwanted attention.. Here's a cyanide martini you bimbo. Don't want weird guys hitting on you? Don't want to be called a slut? Want to avoid seedy scenarios in poorly lit areas? WEAR CLOTHES!