Grave Robbers

I came up with the title of this one because it was the only way I could possibly describe this situation. When you go after significantly younger guys/girls, it's called robbin' the cradle. So I decided, when you go after older men/women it's the exact opposite.

In high school it was always considered okay for freshman girls to date senior guys and all. There's still nothin' wrong with it, it's a perk of being an upperclassmen. That was the extent of things though. You always had one nut-job case where a 15 year-old girl is dating some 20-something, but you just shrugged the shoulders and said "whatever."

Since my college debut, I have been flabbergasted by girls who go after, date, or fool around with guys that are way older than they are. Not seniors, not grad students, I'm talkin' divorcees or dudes with wives (even kids)! What propels them to do such acts? 

One girl claimed it was because they were more ''experienced.'' You're telling me that in a world saturated with young bucks looking to get their dick wet, that you can't find one good lay? Lord have mercy. 

Another reason I have seen girls latch onto these older gents is because they have something most young guys don't...money. As we know, money is a serious issue. Half of divorces are due to financial issues. So they see money, security and possibly power (all things that are said to be turn-ons to women) and awkwardly start feelin' frisky.

The last reason I can see it happening, is a common reason. A girl I knew in school was humpin' her boss from the grocery store she worked at. She never gave any of us a straight answer as to why she did it, but the dude was married with a wife and kids. Even more awkward is that she'd be friendly with the wife and babysit the kids. She even used to sleep in their bed among other weird things. So what's am I getting at? Jealousy. People love what they can't have/what others have. This is tried and true, no doubt about it. I got almost 10-fold more attention and interest from girls when I was in relationships as opposed to being single. So basically, a lot of these girls just want what the wives of these older dudes have. It's pretty weird and I can't sympathize, but at least I understand it better that way.

All in all, it's a pretty sad situation that there aren't enough good young men to keep the faith of girls out there (although, there's plenty of whacked out girls who just have a thing for guys like their dad!). Ugh.. there really isn't an excuse for it, what's gonna happen when he stops getting it up? When does that awkward situation occur when he's officially too old/unappealing and you have to cut him loose? What if he upsets you or cuts you loose (assuming he has kids)...are you gonna snitch? There's so many bad outcomes and situations, is it even worth the hassle? My advice, go out, find yourself a mature young man and if you have to, teach him a thing or two. 

Ew.

The New Phenomenon: Rappers Who Go Clark Kellogg In Internet Videos

The New Phenomenon: Rappers Who Go Clark Kellogg In Internet Videos
Disgrace2YourRace
5.24.09

There has been an interesting development of late, with the proliferation of internet "buzz" to promote (and maintain the relevancy therein) of a particular rapper; especially those who partake in slandering others. It's pretty hilarious to watch a guy being given groundball questions, or something that is sure to rile up the fanbase of the rapper he's talking trash about, and then when the rapper being recorded begins to talk, he resorts to looking away from the camera the entire "interview".
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhJ18Q719LGo7q42Fu

I call it the Clark Kellogg, because Kellogg was known to NEVER look into the camera when he worked the CBS Sports studio during the NCAA March Madness telecasts (before entering the booth with Jim Nantz as lead broadcaster for CBS's coverage of the NCAA tournament in 2008-2009). Lower body root canals for all (people who pay attention to broadcasters know what that is in reference to ha).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTp0faw9ouA

If you are going to be on TV: LOOK INTO THE CAMERA! The feds aren't watching WorldStarHipHop or MyJiggie ha.

Vultures, Fleet Week & Attention Whores. Oh My.

In my R-Block Blotter I will prob write about this again; albeit in more of a recap form. Nevertheless- this is an overall perspective and I get to see this all in one night so here goes:

Most places you go in the city, single dudes have the tendency to outnumber single girls. As I have learned, the phrase "Single and ready to mingle" is a 95% lie. They are only mingle with those fellas who will buy them drinks as stated in the previous blog, or those who fit their 394,945 things they look for in a dude. And you know this at a bar/club how? Anyway, it has always baffled me when you see a group of dudes goin after ONE particular girl in the bar. For example, I happened to go talk to this girl for the fuck of it since she kinda eyed me. After talkin for a few minutes or whatever, I had died laughin because she was textin someone on her phone named "Da Ghetto Boi" and tho I really wasn't tryin to read what she wrote...the dude's text was so obvious "Why can't we fuckkkkkkkk". DEAR GOD ha. The whole time tho these 3 spanish dudes that were behind her were plottin in case I decided to even step aside for 2 seconds. I wasn't goin hard, and the second I stepped aside, these dudes harp on her and begin conversin. When I left 20 or so min later, they were all buyin a round of shots and she wanted to pay for hers, but the dude was insisting that she doesn't. Um, and why?? It's NOT chivalrous of you to do that, if anything you're lettin her have the power by doing this. All in the meantime, if I REALLY wanted to; I woulda got her digits and/or Facebook but I wasn't in the zone.

Fleet Week brings out the Navy men and Marines usually. God bless them for what they do for this country and I know a few people who are in them. Girls however for some inexplicable reason fawn ALL over them. Is it the uniform? Most likely it is. You'll see the flyest chicks walkin around giggly with one of the Fleet Week men and it used to frustrate me knowin that for this weekend I don't have much of a chance with the ladies. But the past couple of years I have had a revelation and some female colleagues have shown me otherwise. First off, apparently they're not as appealing to them when they're by themselves vs. if they're all in a group. Secondly, it TRULY separates those who have common sense to those who don't. It's kinda like goin after the girl who wears the highest skirt, if you will. A girl on the train who began a convo with me (and for once on the LIRR it was a good one) even told me her "gay-dar" senses tell her that most of them are gay. Well I don't have a personal opinion on this but now Fleet Week to me isn't the NIGHTMARE I used to think it was.

Now with the attention whores- at Karaoke some people have the tendency to not listen. My boy's doin a song and these 2 retarded dudes are on stage and want to sing with him. Don't nobody want your Clay Aiken/Kris Allen (yeah I said it) duet punkasses up here dancin on the stage with your 2 girl friends. Well the girl friends could dance but that's a whole other story. Tryin to steal someone else's shine is somethin you just do not do. And yes Karaoke is fun, but it's NOT a concert ha.

And so on.

Drink Slores

This one has been a long time comin. On a given night out, there is a long standing tradition of guys buying drinks for girls. It has gotten so bad that some girls expect the drinks and also expect to be able to receive them/not reciprocate in any way. I'm not implying at all that girls should sleep or make out with guys who buy them drinks. If a young gent buys you a drink, you at least owe him some entertaining chit-chat or temporary company. I've seen chicks accept a drink and then try to pull a "thanks, bye!" maneuver, that's downright cunt status.

Now this awful wallet-depleting gag is pretty much a good thing that has gotten way out of hand with the evolution of society. Once upon a time it was an honor to have a dude buy you something to drink, it meant something. And in those days, it was also advantageous to the male because women would get drunk and be easier to get into bed (and they were okay with this). Essentially, it was a way of saying "Hi, I'm interested in seeing where things go this evening...even if it means knockin some boots." The ladies were grateful and at least showed some gratitude even if it wasn't genuine. Now, you're lucky if you even get a "thanks." Girls are now also privy to the fact that men get them drunk to get laid (and use it to their advantage).

Lack of gratitude is another killer. You buy a girl a drink, whether it be for a friend or for a lady of interest... i'd say more than half the time you don't even get a simple "thank you." If you plan on keeping it short and movin on after snaking the dude for anywhere from 6-10$, at LEAST say "thank you." Now if maybe you're interested and plan on sticking around a while, it may not be necessary. Like I previously stated though, you are obliged to at least give some entertaining conversation or good company in return (even if it's only 5-10 mins). Don't make the dude feel totally rejected and useless (or make yourself look like a complete gold-diggin drink slut). I appreciate being able to spot a sucker, but have some dignity.

On that note, these ladies are another interesting product of the evolving cat/mouse game we play. There are girls out there these days who are essentially drink poachers. They warm up to young (and old) men just to pry the dough from their billfolds. All to not have to spend a few bucks on a drink and have the satisfaction of being "pursued." I had a girl once tell me she does it just for "the chase." AKA "I love being fulfilled by poor saps I'm taking for a ride just to feed my ego.".. no words, just wow. Other girls will try any trick in the book to get their sweet nectar with no financial obligation. Every week I see sad dudes throwing away hard earned money on chicks they won't speak more than 5 words to.

There are cases where it's alright to buy drinks for women and it varies from guy to guy. Some will buy anyone a drink, others a select few. I am much more inclined to spend my cash on a girl if I feel she's earned it/deserves it. Is she entertaining me? Is she overly cool? Did she do something that made me say, "I'm gonna get this girl something to drink!" Obviously if you're connecting on other levels, then a drink is probably in order.. these are more just social reasons I have stated. Does it make you a fool for buying drinks? If you don't have some kind of standard, then probably. If you can't spot a drink-slut, then yes. 

Moral of the story is: guys, make 'em earn it and it'll weed out the despicable drink-whoring skanks... either they'll adapt or be sad buying their own booze. Or just take the easy road and don't do it at all. Buying a drink exhibits your acceptance of their dominance in the relationship (if you're dating, none of this applies). The dudes who reach into their wallet in the first minute of knowing a girl ...now THOSE are the fools we all get a good laugh from on a night out. My slogan for the weak- "Say No, Keep your dough!" Stay strong fellas.

P.S.- Fuck T-Pain.

The Sensitive Snitch.

Today's story is a throwback from back in 2007.

At this time- I had an internship over at a Sports Entertainment company out in the city. This was one of the rare times in which I actually got the job offer with very little problem. For the most part I did work in the athletes and celebrities division and everyone did their own thing. Shit, I even had my own cubicle to fuck with.

Durin my downtime- as any college intern would do, they'd spend some time fuckin around on Facebook. I had created a group called FUCK LONG ISLAND (which btw is 160 members strong ha) and I decided to send an invite to everyone on my friend's list (yeah I even did to people who are from LI- because even ppl from there hate it over there, as they should). It just so happened that one of the girls that was also interning for them at the time was on my friend's list...albeit we never really seen eye-to-eye. She got an invite, rejected it I'm sure...but the kicker was- she ended up telling some higher-up about it and then as I was eating lunch in my cubicle...he told me to come in his office afterwards.

Quite honestly it was the most retarded 90 seconds of my life which I still demand back to this day. The guy goes to me somewhere along the lines "You can't be sending people stuff about Fuck Long Island...I'm from Long Island myself and I would find it very offensive." Grow some fuckin balls dude. I do understand that business and personal stuff shouldn't really mix in a work environment but Good Lord. IT'S A FACEBOOK GROUP. The funny thing is that this chick NEVER came to my face and complained about it. Granted it was swept under the rug thereafter but...I want those 90 seconds back.

I mean there's not much you can do anymore in regards to social networking sites. Everyone's their own personal CIA and looks up everything about you...hell who needs GPS anymore? But back to you sensitive type people. Grab some sensitive skin lotion and toughen up a little. Loosen up a bit, but not too too much. Do you need your little buddy buddy to have a sit-down with me because I'm not good enough? Because I'm not from LI so I won't relate? Because my nose isn't elongated enough to be stuck under someone's ass? Fuck your couch sensitive snitches (and bitches alike).

And so on.

Atrocious Attire

Once upon a time, people used to go out wearing the standard jeans and a shirt. Some more glamorous or revealing than others and some more laid back. Now on a typical night out, you have people who still look standard and presentable or even a little well dressed. On the other hand you have people who like to go out to an average bar or night spot wearing these weird diva mini-dresses. Again, there is nothing wrong with dressing well.. but this isn't even well, it's borderline trashy. Just because Paris and Lindsay walk around in them so you can get up-skirts and nip-slips for the paparazzi, doesn't mean you should. For starters, these dresses usually look like you are wearing garbage bags, which immediately makes you look like Missy Elliot in the video for ''The Rain (Supa-Dupa Fly)''. Beep! Beep! Who got the keys to the Jeep!?

On top of looking like "Misdemeanor," half the time these chicks don't have the body to fill these dresses out anyways. You always see flat chested girls pullin them up because their lack of boobage is hindering their chance for a crotch-o-graph. On the other end, you have bigger girls wearin them with their unflattering cottage cheese ass flappin out the back..which is just plain wrong. There is nothing wrong with a bigger girl who is or wants to be sexy, but it's damn important to know your personal boundaries. If you got jello-arm... wear sleeves. If you got cottage cheese ass.. wear pants. If you got turkey neck... good god get a scarf. If you're ugly... well you're shit out of luck. You can fix fat, you can't fix ugly.

Worst of all it's an unflattering look for girls because of the way these hefty bag dresses look. They puff out, so dudes have no read on what you might look like under there. You might as well be tryin to pluck girls off myspace with just head-up photos from good angles. They make skinny girls look starved and they make thicker girls look big.. it's a lose/lose. Even worse than the force-flex dresses are the girls who wear these longer elegant tank tops AS dresses. This is one of the most awkward pieces of clothing I've ever seen. It's not sure what it is. When you wear it with pants, it looks like a dress. When you wear it as a dress, it looks like a shirt. Ladies, as much as men enjoy revealing clothes.. please don't attempt to rock one of these as an outfit. Not only do you look too dumb to dress yourself, the only guys you are going to attract are the ones you wake up next to, look over and suddenly check yourself for crabs.

Lastly, my personal favorite.. is the girl who dresses like this and then complains about the "negative attention." So you have grimy guys all over you, girls calling you a slut, creepers following you into dark alleys and you complain?! I came out with my boobs pushed up high enough to choke myself, my "dress" is so short you can see the bottom of my ass cheeks and it's OTHER people's faults for giving ME unwanted attention.. Here's a cyanide martini you bimbo. Don't want weird guys hitting on you? Don't want to be called a slut? Want to avoid seedy scenarios in poorly lit areas? WEAR CLOTHES!

When Life Hands You Lemons...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Things You Just... Don't... DO.

Things You Just... Don't... DO.
Disgrace 2 Your Race
5.7.09

Goodness. YouTube is good for a lifetime of laughs. We can all agree there. But there are some things that just need to stay off camera and avoid the internet at all costs. The problem is, the guilty parties think that by doing this outrageous nonsense that they will get noticed by Anderson Cooper's crack stuff for AC360 or something and become famous for this tomfoolery. Sheesh.

Here's an example of an offender:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfMoQ5MPlfc

First of all, WHY IS SHE UP ON THE FUCKIN' TABLE??? Does she not realize she's as big as Julius Peppers http://tampabaywatch.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/julius-peppers.jpg? That table is not designed to support that type of tonnage.

The second offender is becoming more and more prevalent as this type of behavior is "accepted" nowadays:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HHbeILuwVM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43qJYjuqMZE

WHAT.
ON.
EARTH?

I have no words for any of this and I may have quite possibly lost my appetite even though I have a steak cooking right now DEAR GOD.

ENOUGH WITH THE MADNESS!!!

Backyard BBQ Dancing

Disclaimer- this is another emailed entry by Marissa from Ohio.

So, this morning someone directed me to a link on YouTube. It's some hood chicks dancing at a backyard barbeque. But there are a few issues I have with this mess.

First off: people already think that all black people do is sit around, listen to rap music, and shake our asses. So yay for putting that crap on YouTube. No really, I honestly hate you. Let's face it: black people know that this goes on behind closed doors but to put it worldwide for everyone to see and laugh at? Thanks for airing dirty laundry.

Second: You're doing this in front of children. Really? And then encouraging the three-year old to join? See...these are the kids I'm scared for. That little boy is going to be robbing people atATMs in about twelve years. And that little girl is going to have had two kids and a miscarriage and will be dropping out of school by age sixteen.

Third: grow the fuck up. You are not twenty anymore. You are grown ass women running around with kids trying to shake asses like someone is tossing dollars. You fucking fail.

And to the guy who posted it who is so proud of his hoodrat does she have a real job? How many kids? Does she clean her house before she starts trying to be a bootleg skrippa? Is this REALLY something to be proud of? Then again I know that's your baby boo...until she thinks you're cheating on her with her cousin and cuts you in a Burger King parking lot and does six-months.

I can't handle black people right now. Really. I'm now changing my race to "Other".

...I am not a blogger...

Download of the day: Notorious B.I.G. and Bob Marley- "Hold Ya Head".

The Hater Congratulator.

With social networking more popular than ever before, people have taken their cravings for attention to an all-time high. People strive to have the most "friends" possible or the "coolest" personal page so everyone can be like "yeah this cat is cool, yada yada yada." With girls it's worse because they'll spend 20 minutes with their 3 megapixel camera in the bathroom bent over like they're auditioning for Kim Kardashian's part in Ray J's next sex tape and takin "seductive" pictures. Which in turn works because us dudes will leave 200 comments on the order of "yo ma l00kin g00d, h011a @ d@ k!d" or "damn i wish i was behind dat ass mmph!" But then for some reason or another, these same attention whores begin to complain when people shit on their pictures or somethin...or they have drama with hollerin at their mans or whatever. "Yo bitch why u talkin to my man triflin whore, do it ta ma face I'ma check u I'ma see u when I see u BITCH!" Or, it'll be somethin simple as "Ugly azz trash". Ahh, don't you feel the love?

So now, you have rappers like Maino who come to the rescue for these people who are supposedly being hated on. "Hi Hater, Bye Hater." And this "Big Ups to All My Haters" Yes, I know what the premise behind it is, giving acknowledgment to those trash talkers. And it's all well and good. Except for 3 things.

1) It has become way overblown. I bet you half the people who have "haters" just say so because they could be down. It could be as simple as being stared down for one second too long and that person don't know you. WHY HE HATIN ON ME FO, GRILLIN ME FO 4 SECONDS WHEN I BOUT TO SIT?!?! Or, they just want to say they have haters when in reality everyone is apathetic to your mediocrity.

2) We all know people want drama. Without drama, life would be boring and reality TV would not exist. People decide to start shit to make themselves feel better, and in return the Hater Congratulator gets wide-eyed and now has reasons to go on their "such a hater" rant. If you ignore it, that person may still be a "hater" but they're not your own hater. How about that?

3) It increases this person's somewhat "popularity". Just like every celebrity has their fans and their people who dislike em, now this person in their mind believes they are a mini-celebrity.

While I will continue to personally hate because it's just what I do, it's more to a general populus and you, the Hater Congratulator...are a disgrace.

And so on.

"Reality" TV

Thanks to everyone for taking part in last week's poll, declaring Laguna Beach the most disgraceful "reality" TV show out there! That was just foreshadowing for this week's entry about the shameful and disgusting nature of reality television.

Ever since the first big reality TV shows (Real World, Road Rules, etc), I have detested this outbreak of trash TV. Not only was it taking away from music on MUSIC television, but also the solid shows. With evolution of this abortion of television, we have seen Laguna Beach (and it's 8 spin-offs), all 30 of the "______ of Love" shows, 20 Survivors, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the Surreal Life and many other nauseating programs. 

Why do people enjoy this high school drama brand of television? Who cares what is happening to random unimportant people in the world? Apparently if you film people put in dramatic everyday situations, then people will care (not only about what happens, but the characters!). I was in the mall a few years ago and some average looking girl is in line next to me, she gets to the counter and the cashier girl pulls an "Oh my gawwd, can I have your autograph!?" Trying to figure out who it was, I sat there for a while. Once she left, I just asked and they said it was some real world girl. STOP THE PRESSES! I got an autograph from a reality TV nobody! Awesome! I shook my head in shame for the poor cashier girl.

I really want to know who was sitting around one day and was like... "I have the next hit show!" We're going to go to high school parties with rich, pretty, harmless white kids and follow them to see the girls be bitches and the guys play them! GOLD! We'll title it Laguna Beach because it goes with the Hollister lifestyle and we will revolutionize TV (into crap). My favorite thing is that they have crossovers from show to show! Brody Jenner is not only on "The Hills" but he's also the stepbrother of Kim Kardashian! Baffling!

It's almost like that 6 degrees of separation game, Brody is stepbrothers with Kim, who made a sex tape with Ray J.... WHO HAS HIS OWN SHOW! For the Love of Ray J (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD)! Wow, this poor boy is so broke that he got his own reality show to find love. As if a bunch of crazy gold diggers would ever love anything but your "celeb" status or the chance to say I'm getting smashed by a singer (Who had such hit songs as....um....uh....help me out here... oh yea, he split 'Sexy Can I?' with Yung Berg). What's next, A Shot at Love with Amy Fisher?! 

The major things that all of these people in the shows (and the followers) have in common? Shame and Disgrace! The only people I can respect who watch are guys watching 'Keeping Up With the Kardashians' on mute with a bottle of Jergen's. To the rest, Lauren Conrad's drama isn't any worse or less important than your own. Stop living vicariously through others, get off the couch and live it yourself! I leave you with.... Next time on Laguna Beach.

Disgraceful Facial Faux Pas

Disclaimer-This an emailed entry sent to us courtesy of Melissa from Florida.

Why do people think this is attractive?

Humans grow eyebrows. We have them so you do not have to shave yours off and draw them on everyday. Yes, I understand some women have thin eyebrows and they need to be filled in. But have you ever seen someone with sharpie eyebrows WITHOUT their sharpie on? 

It's enough to give me nightmares. YOU CAN SEE HER PERMA-STAIN FROM WHERE SHE DRAWS THEM ON! And it looks like she's one that gives herself an arch that looks like someone is permanently pulling her scalp backwards. These two instances happen to be latinas, but believe me, I have seen every race do this. The first picture is also a good instance of HORRIBLE lip liner. This is not ok, Mrs Eminem (or ex-Mrs. Eminem, whatever she is now.) 

You know, I don't know what's worse, women that do this to themselves, or the men that date them/give them attention. How about everyone ignores them? If I ever look like this, please stop talking to me!