TAXI!!! (or not)

We had a little hiatus due to the ITIS (if you don't know what that means look it up). But we are back at it.

I decided for myself since I can't find a job to save my life...much less a callback for any interview for a damn job that I am gonna do 2 things. First- study for the upcoming LSATs in October or November (which are a bitch)...and second- drive a taxi. Now I never really considered it and from an ego standpoint..a college grad drivin a cab? Really? Only those immigrants do that shit. But then you realize...hmm ok you can make like $200-$300/day like a bartender would. So you give it a shot.

I digress tho. While I was at the 24-hour taxi course that everyone is required to take in order to drive a cab in NYC- you had me (probably the only born and raised NYC native there), a BUNCHA Indians-Pakistanis, a couple Africans and the Asian here and there. In a Sunday morning class, a fellow Indian was teaching the class and he admitted that most of their people "don't feel comfortable picking up a person of color because either he might try to rob them, take them somewhere far and not pay him or just not pay him". Which makes sense. I can't tell you how many times I've been passed over by a cabbie (unless he's African of course) in the late night hours. Even after chasing one to a red light they'll lock their doors and act like they are done for the night...when 3 blocks later they pick up someone who is "less threatening" if you will. The cab doesn't even stop if I'm standin with one of my white friends. So the strategy I have adopted is to simply stand away and let my boy hail the cab and to only turn around AFTER the door is open. Then he can't say or do shit bc it'll make him look even worse.

Even when you get in the taxi, it's sometimes annoying because they're ALWAYS on their damn bluetooths (which I learned is illegal- but for those who had been driving for years they will not listen) and with that retarded as fuck TAXI TV. But I don't really care because all I want to do is go home at that point. The part that's disappointing is that for the most part they're good guys, relatively nice people. But that first hurdle to climb is like watchin The Biggest Loser on Day 1 and watchin them try to climb a wall.

And so on.

Grave Robbers

I came up with the title of this one because it was the only way I could possibly describe this situation. When you go after significantly younger guys/girls, it's called robbin' the cradle. So I decided, when you go after older men/women it's the exact opposite.

In high school it was always considered okay for freshman girls to date senior guys and all. There's still nothin' wrong with it, it's a perk of being an upperclassmen. That was the extent of things though. You always had one nut-job case where a 15 year-old girl is dating some 20-something, but you just shrugged the shoulders and said "whatever."

Since my college debut, I have been flabbergasted by girls who go after, date, or fool around with guys that are way older than they are. Not seniors, not grad students, I'm talkin' divorcees or dudes with wives (even kids)! What propels them to do such acts? 

One girl claimed it was because they were more ''experienced.'' You're telling me that in a world saturated with young bucks looking to get their dick wet, that you can't find one good lay? Lord have mercy. 

Another reason I have seen girls latch onto these older gents is because they have something most young guys don't...money. As we know, money is a serious issue. Half of divorces are due to financial issues. So they see money, security and possibly power (all things that are said to be turn-ons to women) and awkwardly start feelin' frisky.

The last reason I can see it happening, is a common reason. A girl I knew in school was humpin' her boss from the grocery store she worked at. She never gave any of us a straight answer as to why she did it, but the dude was married with a wife and kids. Even more awkward is that she'd be friendly with the wife and babysit the kids. She even used to sleep in their bed among other weird things. So what's am I getting at? Jealousy. People love what they can't have/what others have. This is tried and true, no doubt about it. I got almost 10-fold more attention and interest from girls when I was in relationships as opposed to being single. So basically, a lot of these girls just want what the wives of these older dudes have. It's pretty weird and I can't sympathize, but at least I understand it better that way.

All in all, it's a pretty sad situation that there aren't enough good young men to keep the faith of girls out there (although, there's plenty of whacked out girls who just have a thing for guys like their dad!). Ugh.. there really isn't an excuse for it, what's gonna happen when he stops getting it up? When does that awkward situation occur when he's officially too old/unappealing and you have to cut him loose? What if he upsets you or cuts you loose (assuming he has kids)...are you gonna snitch? There's so many bad outcomes and situations, is it even worth the hassle? My advice, go out, find yourself a mature young man and if you have to, teach him a thing or two. 

Ew.

The New Phenomenon: Rappers Who Go Clark Kellogg In Internet Videos

The New Phenomenon: Rappers Who Go Clark Kellogg In Internet Videos
Disgrace2YourRace
5.24.09

There has been an interesting development of late, with the proliferation of internet "buzz" to promote (and maintain the relevancy therein) of a particular rapper; especially those who partake in slandering others. It's pretty hilarious to watch a guy being given groundball questions, or something that is sure to rile up the fanbase of the rapper he's talking trash about, and then when the rapper being recorded begins to talk, he resorts to looking away from the camera the entire "interview".
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhJ18Q719LGo7q42Fu

I call it the Clark Kellogg, because Kellogg was known to NEVER look into the camera when he worked the CBS Sports studio during the NCAA March Madness telecasts (before entering the booth with Jim Nantz as lead broadcaster for CBS's coverage of the NCAA tournament in 2008-2009). Lower body root canals for all (people who pay attention to broadcasters know what that is in reference to ha).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTp0faw9ouA

If you are going to be on TV: LOOK INTO THE CAMERA! The feds aren't watching WorldStarHipHop or MyJiggie ha.

Vultures, Fleet Week & Attention Whores. Oh My.

In my R-Block Blotter I will prob write about this again; albeit in more of a recap form. Nevertheless- this is an overall perspective and I get to see this all in one night so here goes:

Most places you go in the city, single dudes have the tendency to outnumber single girls. As I have learned, the phrase "Single and ready to mingle" is a 95% lie. They are only mingle with those fellas who will buy them drinks as stated in the previous blog, or those who fit their 394,945 things they look for in a dude. And you know this at a bar/club how? Anyway, it has always baffled me when you see a group of dudes goin after ONE particular girl in the bar. For example, I happened to go talk to this girl for the fuck of it since she kinda eyed me. After talkin for a few minutes or whatever, I had died laughin because she was textin someone on her phone named "Da Ghetto Boi" and tho I really wasn't tryin to read what she wrote...the dude's text was so obvious "Why can't we fuckkkkkkkk". DEAR GOD ha. The whole time tho these 3 spanish dudes that were behind her were plottin in case I decided to even step aside for 2 seconds. I wasn't goin hard, and the second I stepped aside, these dudes harp on her and begin conversin. When I left 20 or so min later, they were all buyin a round of shots and she wanted to pay for hers, but the dude was insisting that she doesn't. Um, and why?? It's NOT chivalrous of you to do that, if anything you're lettin her have the power by doing this. All in the meantime, if I REALLY wanted to; I woulda got her digits and/or Facebook but I wasn't in the zone.

Fleet Week brings out the Navy men and Marines usually. God bless them for what they do for this country and I know a few people who are in them. Girls however for some inexplicable reason fawn ALL over them. Is it the uniform? Most likely it is. You'll see the flyest chicks walkin around giggly with one of the Fleet Week men and it used to frustrate me knowin that for this weekend I don't have much of a chance with the ladies. But the past couple of years I have had a revelation and some female colleagues have shown me otherwise. First off, apparently they're not as appealing to them when they're by themselves vs. if they're all in a group. Secondly, it TRULY separates those who have common sense to those who don't. It's kinda like goin after the girl who wears the highest skirt, if you will. A girl on the train who began a convo with me (and for once on the LIRR it was a good one) even told me her "gay-dar" senses tell her that most of them are gay. Well I don't have a personal opinion on this but now Fleet Week to me isn't the NIGHTMARE I used to think it was.

Now with the attention whores- at Karaoke some people have the tendency to not listen. My boy's doin a song and these 2 retarded dudes are on stage and want to sing with him. Don't nobody want your Clay Aiken/Kris Allen (yeah I said it) duet punkasses up here dancin on the stage with your 2 girl friends. Well the girl friends could dance but that's a whole other story. Tryin to steal someone else's shine is somethin you just do not do. And yes Karaoke is fun, but it's NOT a concert ha.

And so on.

Drink Slores

This one has been a long time comin. On a given night out, there is a long standing tradition of guys buying drinks for girls. It has gotten so bad that some girls expect the drinks and also expect to be able to receive them/not reciprocate in any way. I'm not implying at all that girls should sleep or make out with guys who buy them drinks. If a young gent buys you a drink, you at least owe him some entertaining chit-chat or temporary company. I've seen chicks accept a drink and then try to pull a "thanks, bye!" maneuver, that's downright cunt status.

Now this awful wallet-depleting gag is pretty much a good thing that has gotten way out of hand with the evolution of society. Once upon a time it was an honor to have a dude buy you something to drink, it meant something. And in those days, it was also advantageous to the male because women would get drunk and be easier to get into bed (and they were okay with this). Essentially, it was a way of saying "Hi, I'm interested in seeing where things go this evening...even if it means knockin some boots." The ladies were grateful and at least showed some gratitude even if it wasn't genuine. Now, you're lucky if you even get a "thanks." Girls are now also privy to the fact that men get them drunk to get laid (and use it to their advantage).

Lack of gratitude is another killer. You buy a girl a drink, whether it be for a friend or for a lady of interest... i'd say more than half the time you don't even get a simple "thank you." If you plan on keeping it short and movin on after snaking the dude for anywhere from 6-10$, at LEAST say "thank you." Now if maybe you're interested and plan on sticking around a while, it may not be necessary. Like I previously stated though, you are obliged to at least give some entertaining conversation or good company in return (even if it's only 5-10 mins). Don't make the dude feel totally rejected and useless (or make yourself look like a complete gold-diggin drink slut). I appreciate being able to spot a sucker, but have some dignity.

On that note, these ladies are another interesting product of the evolving cat/mouse game we play. There are girls out there these days who are essentially drink poachers. They warm up to young (and old) men just to pry the dough from their billfolds. All to not have to spend a few bucks on a drink and have the satisfaction of being "pursued." I had a girl once tell me she does it just for "the chase." AKA "I love being fulfilled by poor saps I'm taking for a ride just to feed my ego.".. no words, just wow. Other girls will try any trick in the book to get their sweet nectar with no financial obligation. Every week I see sad dudes throwing away hard earned money on chicks they won't speak more than 5 words to.

There are cases where it's alright to buy drinks for women and it varies from guy to guy. Some will buy anyone a drink, others a select few. I am much more inclined to spend my cash on a girl if I feel she's earned it/deserves it. Is she entertaining me? Is she overly cool? Did she do something that made me say, "I'm gonna get this girl something to drink!" Obviously if you're connecting on other levels, then a drink is probably in order.. these are more just social reasons I have stated. Does it make you a fool for buying drinks? If you don't have some kind of standard, then probably. If you can't spot a drink-slut, then yes. 

Moral of the story is: guys, make 'em earn it and it'll weed out the despicable drink-whoring skanks... either they'll adapt or be sad buying their own booze. Or just take the easy road and don't do it at all. Buying a drink exhibits your acceptance of their dominance in the relationship (if you're dating, none of this applies). The dudes who reach into their wallet in the first minute of knowing a girl ...now THOSE are the fools we all get a good laugh from on a night out. My slogan for the weak- "Say No, Keep your dough!" Stay strong fellas.

P.S.- Fuck T-Pain.

The Sensitive Snitch.

Today's story is a throwback from back in 2007.

At this time- I had an internship over at a Sports Entertainment company out in the city. This was one of the rare times in which I actually got the job offer with very little problem. For the most part I did work in the athletes and celebrities division and everyone did their own thing. Shit, I even had my own cubicle to fuck with.

Durin my downtime- as any college intern would do, they'd spend some time fuckin around on Facebook. I had created a group called FUCK LONG ISLAND (which btw is 160 members strong ha) and I decided to send an invite to everyone on my friend's list (yeah I even did to people who are from LI- because even ppl from there hate it over there, as they should). It just so happened that one of the girls that was also interning for them at the time was on my friend's list...albeit we never really seen eye-to-eye. She got an invite, rejected it I'm sure...but the kicker was- she ended up telling some higher-up about it and then as I was eating lunch in my cubicle...he told me to come in his office afterwards.

Quite honestly it was the most retarded 90 seconds of my life which I still demand back to this day. The guy goes to me somewhere along the lines "You can't be sending people stuff about Fuck Long Island...I'm from Long Island myself and I would find it very offensive." Grow some fuckin balls dude. I do understand that business and personal stuff shouldn't really mix in a work environment but Good Lord. IT'S A FACEBOOK GROUP. The funny thing is that this chick NEVER came to my face and complained about it. Granted it was swept under the rug thereafter but...I want those 90 seconds back.

I mean there's not much you can do anymore in regards to social networking sites. Everyone's their own personal CIA and looks up everything about you...hell who needs GPS anymore? But back to you sensitive type people. Grab some sensitive skin lotion and toughen up a little. Loosen up a bit, but not too too much. Do you need your little buddy buddy to have a sit-down with me because I'm not good enough? Because I'm not from LI so I won't relate? Because my nose isn't elongated enough to be stuck under someone's ass? Fuck your couch sensitive snitches (and bitches alike).

And so on.

Atrocious Attire

Once upon a time, people used to go out wearing the standard jeans and a shirt. Some more glamorous or revealing than others and some more laid back. Now on a typical night out, you have people who still look standard and presentable or even a little well dressed. On the other hand you have people who like to go out to an average bar or night spot wearing these weird diva mini-dresses. Again, there is nothing wrong with dressing well.. but this isn't even well, it's borderline trashy. Just because Paris and Lindsay walk around in them so you can get up-skirts and nip-slips for the paparazzi, doesn't mean you should. For starters, these dresses usually look like you are wearing garbage bags, which immediately makes you look like Missy Elliot in the video for ''The Rain (Supa-Dupa Fly)''. Beep! Beep! Who got the keys to the Jeep!?

On top of looking like "Misdemeanor," half the time these chicks don't have the body to fill these dresses out anyways. You always see flat chested girls pullin them up because their lack of boobage is hindering their chance for a crotch-o-graph. On the other end, you have bigger girls wearin them with their unflattering cottage cheese ass flappin out the back..which is just plain wrong. There is nothing wrong with a bigger girl who is or wants to be sexy, but it's damn important to know your personal boundaries. If you got jello-arm... wear sleeves. If you got cottage cheese ass.. wear pants. If you got turkey neck... good god get a scarf. If you're ugly... well you're shit out of luck. You can fix fat, you can't fix ugly.

Worst of all it's an unflattering look for girls because of the way these hefty bag dresses look. They puff out, so dudes have no read on what you might look like under there. You might as well be tryin to pluck girls off myspace with just head-up photos from good angles. They make skinny girls look starved and they make thicker girls look big.. it's a lose/lose. Even worse than the force-flex dresses are the girls who wear these longer elegant tank tops AS dresses. This is one of the most awkward pieces of clothing I've ever seen. It's not sure what it is. When you wear it with pants, it looks like a dress. When you wear it as a dress, it looks like a shirt. Ladies, as much as men enjoy revealing clothes.. please don't attempt to rock one of these as an outfit. Not only do you look too dumb to dress yourself, the only guys you are going to attract are the ones you wake up next to, look over and suddenly check yourself for crabs.

Lastly, my personal favorite.. is the girl who dresses like this and then complains about the "negative attention." So you have grimy guys all over you, girls calling you a slut, creepers following you into dark alleys and you complain?! I came out with my boobs pushed up high enough to choke myself, my "dress" is so short you can see the bottom of my ass cheeks and it's OTHER people's faults for giving ME unwanted attention.. Here's a cyanide martini you bimbo. Don't want weird guys hitting on you? Don't want to be called a slut? Want to avoid seedy scenarios in poorly lit areas? WEAR CLOTHES!